5 Do’s and Don’ts When Your Toddler Is Withholding Poo

We went through this exact situation with our daughter. She started withholding poo and became anxious about going to the toilet. It was tough to watch, and like many parents, we felt worried and unsure of what to do. But with time, patience, and a few small changes, she slowly gained the confidence to go again.

If you’re dealing with this issue, don’t panic. Here’s a quick guide to help you navigate through this challenge, based on what I’ve learned as a parent.

There are several reasons why toddlers may withhold poo:

• Pain from a past bowel movement – A previous experience of discomfort may cause fear.
• Potty training anxiety – Fear of using the toilet can lead to withholding.
• Control issues – When toddlers feel pressured, they may resist.
• Distraction – They simply don’t want to stop playing.

Identifying the cause can help you find the best solution for your child.

1. Stay Calm and Patient
   Your reaction matters. If your toddler is withholding poo, it’s often rooted in fear, discomfort, or a need for control. Stay calm and reassuring, even during setbacks. Use positive language and avoid scolding. A safe, relaxed atmosphere makes it easier for your child to open up and eventually go.
2. Encourage a Fibre-Rich Diet
   Fibre-rich foods, such as apples, pears, and prunes, help soften stools and reduce the fear of pain. Include plenty of fruit, vegetables, and whole grains in their meals.
3. Keep Hydration a Priority
   Water helps soften stools and prevent constipation. Offer small sips throughout the day. Milk and diluted fruit juice are also helpful in moderation, but try to avoid too many sugary drinks, which can dehydrate or upset the stomach.
4. Establish a Gentle Bathroom Routine
   Create a calm, predictable potty schedule often 10–20 minutes after meals when the body naturally wants to go (thanks to the gastrocolic reflex). Use a child-friendly potty or toilet seat with a footstool to support a proper posture. Don’t pressure them to go; just give them the chance.
5. Use Positive Reinforcement
   Celebrate every small success. Whether they sit on the potty, try to go, or just talk about their fears, reward the effort. Sticker charts, verbal praise, or a fun routine (like reading a special potty-time book) can reduce stress and build positive associations.

1. Don’t React Negatively
   It’s easy to feel stressed or even angry when your toddler refuses to poo, especially if it’s been days. But showing frustration can increase your child’s anxiety around bowel movements and make the issue worse. Stay calm and use positive language, even when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Remember, toddlers don’t withhold poo to be difficult they’re usually scared or uncomfortable.
2. Pushing Potty Training Too Soon
   Trying to toilet train before your toddler is emotionally or physically ready can trigger resistance, including withholding. If your child is regularly refusing to poo or seems anxious about the potty, it might be a sign to pause and go back to nappies or pull-ups temporarily. Readiness matters more than age.
3. Don’t Use Laxatives Without Professional Guidance
   It can be tempting to reach for a quick fix, but using stool softeners or laxatives without consulting a doctor isn’t recommended. Every child is different, and underlying issues like chronic constipation or food intolerances could be at play. Always speak to your GP or paediatrician before giving any medication or supplements.
4. Don’t Ignore the Issue
   Some parents assume their child will “grow out of it,” but ongoing withholding can lead to painful constipation, larger stools, and even toilet avoidance. The earlier you step in with gentle support like a fiber-rich diet, proper hydration, and a consistent bathroom routine the easier it is to break the cycle.
5. Putting Too Much Pressure on Potty Time
   Turning every bathroom visit into a high-stakes moment can backfire. Avoid making potty time feel like a test or chore. Instead, keep it relaxed, short, and pressure-free. Read a story, play calming music, or just sit with your toddler while they try. A stress-free environment can make all the difference.

Our Final Thoughts

Dealing with poo withholding can be tough, but remember, it’s a phase most children grow out of. With patience, a healthy diet, and a relaxed potty routine, you can support your toddler in overcoming this challenge.

If things don’t improve or your toddler seems especially distressed, it’s always a good idea to consult your GP. They can rule out any underlying issues and offer further advice.

With time and encouragement, your toddler will get back to regular, healthy bowel movements – and you’ll both feel more confident in the process. You’ve got this!

Frequently Asked Questions About Toddlers Withholding Poo