If you are living with a picky eater, please know this first: you are not doing anything wrong. Many children go through phases of food refusal, strong preferences and outright rejection of anything unfamiliar. As a mum, I have sat at the table feeling worried, frustrated and quietly wondering how my child could possibly be getting enough nutrients.
Picky eating is incredibly common, especially in toddlers and young children. While it can feel stressful, it is usually a normal part of development. The goal is not to force children to eat more or different foods overnight, but to help them feel safe and confident enough to explore food at their own pace.
Below are five realistic, parent tested strategies that support progress over perfection.
Offer New Foods Without Pressure
One of the most important things we learned is that pressure makes picky eating worse, not better. Asking for “just one more bite”, negotiating or watching every mouthful can turn food into a source of stress.
Instead, we aim to offer new foods calmly and consistently, without expectations. The food is there, available, and the child decides whether to try it. Even touching, smelling or licking a food counts as exposure.
Research shows that children often need to see and experience a new food many times before they accept it. What looks like refusal is often familiarity building.
Why this helps: Removing pressure reduces anxiety and allows curiosity to develop naturally.
Parenting tip: Use neutral language like “You can try it if you want” rather than “You need to eat this”.
2.
Pair New Foods With Safe Foods
A safe food is something you know your child will usually eat. For picky eaters, this might be plain pasta, bread, fruit or yoghurt. Including at least one safe food at each meal can make the whole plate feel less overwhelming.
When children feel secure that there is something they like available, they are more open to exploring other foods alongside it. We always serve new foods next to familiar ones, never on their own.
This approach supports calmer mealtimes with kids and reduces the fear of going hungry.
Why this helps: Feeling safe at the table is a key part of trying new things.
Parenting tip: Avoid disguising foods. Trust is built when children can see and recognise what they are being offered.
Let Children Explore Food in Their Own Way
Trying new foods does not always mean eating them straight away. Many picky eaters need time to explore food through play and the senses first.
At home, we allow our children to touch, squish, break or smell food without comment. Sometimes food gets licked and put back. Sometimes it gets ignored completely. All of this is part of learning.
Outside of mealtimes, involving children in food preparation can also help. Washing vegetables, stirring sauces or choosing fruit at the shop increases familiarity and interest.
Why this helps: Sensory exploration builds confidence and reduces fear of unfamiliar textures and smells.
Parenting tip: Keep reactions neutral. Big praise or disappointment can add pressure.
4.
Eat Together and Model Enjoyment
Children learn a huge amount by watching us. When they regularly see parents and siblings enjoying a wide range of foods, it slowly normalises those foods for them.
We make an effort to eat the same meal together whenever possible, even if we know a child will not eat much of it. We talk about the food casually, without selling it or pushing it.
Comments like “This is crunchy” or “This tastes warm and cosy” are far more helpful than “This is really healthy” or “You should try this”.
Why this helps: Positive role modelling creates familiarity and trust over time.
Parenting tip: Avoid making separate meals where possible. Offer variety within one shared meal instead.
5. Be Patient and Look at the Bigger Picture
Progress with picky eating is rarely quick or linear. There will be days when a child surprises you and others when it feels like you are back at square one. This is normal.
Rather than focusing on individual meals, look at what your child eats over a week or longer. Variety often appears gradually, not all at once.
If you are providing regular meals, offering balanced options and keeping the atmosphere calm, you are supporting healthy eating habits, even if it does not feel like it in the moment.
Why this helps: Reducing parental stress helps children feel more relaxed and open at the table.
Parenting tip: Celebrate small wins, like touching or tasting a new food, rather than expecting full portions.
Our Final Thoughts
Picky eating can be exhausting, especially when you care deeply about your child’s health and wellbeing. But most children do grow out of it when they are supported with patience, consistency and trust.
By reducing pressure, offering safe foods and creating positive mealtimes with kids, you are laying the groundwork for a healthier relationship with food that will last far beyond childhood.
