Returning to work after maternity leave can bring up a whirlwind of emotions. Excitement, relief, exhaustion, and, for many of us, guilt. That familiar tug in your chest when you leave your child at childcare, miss a milestone, or simply long for more time together.
As a mum of two, I’ve been there. I remember the first week back at work vividly — the tight knot of worry in my stomach and the constant questioning of whether I was doing the “right” thing. What I learned is that guilt is normal, but it doesn’t have to control your days. Here are five honest tips that helped me navigate working mum guilt and actually enjoy both my job and my family time.
Recognise That Guilt is a Sign You Care
The first thing I had to accept was that feeling guilty does not mean I was failing as a parent. It means I care deeply about my children and my role in their lives.
When you reframe guilt this way, it becomes less of a burden and more of a guide. It reminds you to focus on meaningful moments with your child, like bedtime stories or simple morning cuddles, instead of dwelling on what you “missed.”
2.
Make the Time You Have Count
Quality beats quantity. When you can’t be with your child all day, make the time you do have count.
Simple routines, like singing a silly song in the car, reading a story before bed, or even just chatting about the day over breakfast, can be incredibly powerful. It shifts the focus from what you don’t have to the meaningful experiences you do.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel Joy Outside of Work
It’s easy to feel guilty for enjoying work or time away from your children. But allowing yourself to feel fulfilled outside of parenthood is essential.
Whether it’s having a coffee with a friend, a quiet commute with your favourite podcast, or completing a satisfying work project, acknowledging your own happiness doesn’t make you a bad mum. In fact, it makes you more present and patient when you are with your children.
4.
Share Your Feelings With Someone Who Understands
Sometimes guilt feels heavier when carried alone. Talking to someone who understands, whether a partner, friend, or fellow working parent, can lighten the load.
I often found that simply voicing my worries out loud and hearing reassurance made a huge difference. Sharing practical solutions, like adjusting routines or getting extra help, can also reduce guilt and stress.
5. Be Realistic About Your Expectations
Perfection is a myth. Trying to be everything at home and at work will only increase guilt.
Set realistic expectations for yourself. Plan simple meals, accept that the laundry may not always be folded, and allow yourself grace for messy mornings or missed milestones. By giving yourself permission to be human, you take the pressure off and create a more sustainable balance for your family.
Our Final Thoughts
Working mum guilt is a natural part of returning to work, but it doesn’t have to dominate your life. By recognising your emotions, focusing on meaningful moments, sharing your feelings, and setting realistic expectations, guilt becomes manageable rather than overwhelming.
Remember, as a mum of two who’s been through this, you are doing an incredible job. Guilt is a sign of love, not failure. With intention and self-compassion, you can thrive as both a parent and a professional.
