If bedtime feels like a daily battle, you’re not alone. We’ve been there with the tears, the “one more story” requests, and the sudden hunger right after brushing teeth.
Toddler bedtime tantrums can feel endless, but they’re temporary and manageable with the right approach. Here are five ways to handle them that have truly worked for us, part of our full guide to toddler sleep.
What you’ll find in this post
- Starting the wind-down earlier than you think
- Sticking to the routine, even on hard nights
- Acknowledging feelings instead of arguing
- Offering small choices to give back control
The 5 ways
Handling tantrums at bedtime
Every calm, consistent moment helps.
1
Way one
Start the wind-down earlier than you think
Bedtime doesn’t start when pyjamas go on. About 30 to 45 minutes before bed, try dimming the lights and switching to quiet activities like reading or puzzles.
- For the full routine this builds on, see: 5 Things That Make Bedtime Easier for Toddlers
2
Way two
Stick to the routine, even when you’re tired
Toddlers thrive on predictability. On nights when we’ve skipped steps, the resistance comes quickly. A bedtime routine chart can help if your child responds well to visuals.
3
Way three
Acknowledge their feelings instead of arguing
When a toddler is mid-tantrum, logic doesn’t work when emotions are high. Try empathy instead, “We know you don’t want to stop playing. It’s hard to go to bed.”
4
Way four
Offer small choices to give back control
Many bedtime tantrums happen because toddlers want control. “Do you want the red pyjamas or the blue ones?” “Should we read this book or that one?”
5
Way five
Stay calm, even when they’re not
This one is the hardest, but it makes the biggest difference. Toddlers take their emotional cues from us. Saying “we know you’re upset, but we’re here” can reassure your child.
Every calm moment helps, even the messy nights.
Handling toddler tantrums at bedtime takes patience, practice, and a whole lot of grace. We don’t have to get it perfect, just consistent.
Common questions about bedtime tantrums
Written by a mum of two
Having survived more bedtime battles than I can count, I write about the honest, practical side of toddler sleep, because every parent deserves real advice, not just theory.


